In case you missed our announcement yesterday…
We at ASO are always waist-deep in a flood of kudos regarding our cloud hosting packages and the great customer service that goes along with them. We sure love a good compliment.
However, the people of A Small Orange are a restless, unsatisfied sort. Each employee treats every new day as a quest for perfection that is only interrupted by a superfluous, overrated concept known as “sleep”. You say you’re happy? Nonsense. We want you to be happier.
That’s why we’re beyond excited to announce our latest offering to you.
Want to be one of the first people to take a revolutionary step forward with us in hosting?
If so, we’ve got a fantastic, affordable new cloud package lined up for you that combines the latest technology with two of Mother Nature’s main assets- sun and wind.
First, we start with a cluster of top-of-the line solar-powered Intel Core i9 servers, and encase them in state-of-the-art waterproof materials for maximum safety.
Then, we place the precious cargo into the innovative, “ASO Express”. Slated for completion in July, the ASO Express is a 7500-pound radio controlled aviation device that resembles a hot air balloon but is far sturdier, since it’s powered by naturally harvested gases and built from 100% organic materials.
Apart from a few yearly routine maintenance checks, the ASO Express never leaves the ground- leaving you with nothing but confidence that your data is in the safest place possible.
What’s more, The Express is patrolled 24/7/364 by a crack security team with nearly 10 years Navy SEAL and Blackwater experience. Now that’s safety you can trust!
Believe us, folks- it doesn’t get any better than this.
Natural elements, 100% uptime, and military precision join forces to deliver the best hosting package known to man.