INTRODUCING ASO EXPRESS CLOUD HOSTING

In case you missed our announcement yesterday…


4/1/2012

We at ASO are always waist-deep in a flood of kudos regarding our cloud hosting packages and the great customer service that goes along with them. We sure love a good compliment.

However, the people of A Small Orange are a restless, unsatisfied sort. Each employee treats every new day as a quest for perfection that is only interrupted by a superfluous, overrated concept known as “sleep”. You say you’re happy? Nonsense. We want you to be happier.

That’s why we’re beyond excited to announce our latest offering to you.

Want to be one of the first people to take a revolutionary step forward with us in hosting?

If so, we’ve got a fantastic, affordable new cloud package lined up for you that combines the latest technology with two of Mother Nature’s main assets- sun and wind.

Check it out:

First, we start with a cluster of top-of-the line solar-powered Intel Core i9 servers, and encase them in state-of-the-art waterproof materials for maximum safety.

Then, we place the precious cargo into the innovative, “ASO Express”. Slated for completion in July, the ASO Express is a 7500-pound radio controlled aviation device that resembles a hot air balloon but is far sturdier, since it’s powered by naturally harvested gases and built from 100% organic materials.

Apart from a few yearly routine maintenance checks, the ASO Express never leaves the ground- leaving you with nothing but confidence that your data is in the safest place possible.

What’s more, The Express is patrolled 24/7/364 by a crack security team with nearly 10 years Navy SEAL and Blackwater experience. Now that’s safety you can trust!

Believe us, folks- it doesn’t get any better than this.

ASO EXPRESS CLOUD HOSTING – Now you’re truly hosting in the clouds.

Natural elements, 100% uptime, and military precision join forces to deliver the best hosting package known to man.

 

2 Responses to INTRODUCING ASO EXPRESS CLOUD HOSTING

  1. gef says:
    April 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm.

    hehehe good one ! but did you know that the pirate bay ‘really’ wanted to do this? not flying the data in the air, but actually using a low orbital drone as a proxy!

    • jimmoscater says:
      April 3, 2012 at 1:21 pm.

      Thanks! I think we heard something along those lines as well!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>