A Small Orange

The modern Olympics is a global tradition that dates back to 1896. Since its rebirth in Athens, Greece; sports like tug-of-war, croquet, and softball have fizzled out, while golf and rugby union are in. We know fingers are crossed for the incorporation of future events like rock climbing and karate, but we thought of a few others we’d really like to see.  

Zorbing: Measuring 10 feet in diameter, with approximately two feet of soft, cushy air, you know you’d want to see your favorite athletes take these bad boys out for a spin on Brazil’s rough terrain.   

Chia Pet Grooming: Where famous barbers and reputable botanists come together to complete on a classic novelty item, who wouldn’t be at least a little curious to see what styling methods grow out of this event. Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!   

Yo-Yo Battles: This would make “Walk the Dog” and “Around the Corner” look like kid stuff. Duncan sales would soar with adults, while kids would ask if there’s an app for that.  

Planking: Anyone who’s held the plank position for longer than 17 seconds knows exactly why this should be right up there with the triathlon! Abs burning. Arms trembling. A gold medal in planking would really be something to brag about. And that’s not even getting into the unusual locations.   

Extreme Ice Cream Cone Making: Assembling the perfect soft serve ice cream cone is a feat that would finally be recognized! Scores would be based on the cone’s towering height, the aesthetics of its swirl design, the homogeneous scattering of rainbow sprinkles, and of course, its delicious flavor. Where can we get an application to judge this event?     

Pokemon Go: Gamers from all over the world would tune in to see who which country has got what it takes to catch ‘em all!

Giant Yellow Slide Races: The Fun Slide. The Big Slide. The Yellow Slide. No matter what you call it, you don’t just want to see this event – you want to be in this event! Controversies would be less about who too k steroids and more about who put wax paper on the bottom of their mat.  

Capture the Flag: Nothing reflects 207 nations competing for the gold better than a friendly game of Capture the Flag. With “jail” an actual holding cell on the sidelines instead of a colorful hula-hoop, the stakes just got a little bit higher!     

Old School Texting: What was once a part of everyday communication could now be seen as a unique skill and lost art. Only the best of the best T9-ers would be eligible to complete in this Old-School Text-Off.    

Ultimate Hopscotch: It would take weeks to sketch the multiple miles of squares and numbers for this intense hopscotch game. With the current record set at 3.75 miles, the game would have to span at least that!   What Olympic events would you like to see?